16 February 2010

My Carbon Footprint is Bigger Than Yours! And That's Okay.

Why? Because I got me some offsets! HA! Suck it, greenies!

Free carbon credits! Impress your tree-hugging friends! Drive your Hummer H2 guilt-free! Keep your house at a toasty 76 degrees this winter, comfortable in the knowledge that you can simply "offset" your disgusting carbon production by a few meaningless goodwill gestures, like flying a private jet to a UN-sponsored symposium on global warming, or preaching to the little people who don't live in 10,000 square foot homes that we need to save the earth (don't worry, Obama likes his White House nice and toasty while us little people are told to put on a sweater), or driving a car to Washington DC when you could've video-conferenced and told Congress to stick it where the sun don't shine.

15 February 2010

From the "Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Ass" Files

Evan Bayh is retiring from the U.S. Senate.

I guess all that double-talk finally caught up to him.

Or maybe it was his "I don't know about national health care" face to his constituents while being a cheerleader for Obamacare behind closed doors.

There's still a small part of me that wants to think that Bayh realized he was being used by the Left, and realized it was time to quit. Especially since he rolled so easily on national health care. Hell, we didn't even get a Louisiana Purchase or a Cornhusker Kickback like those senators who held on to their convictions just long enough for a great big fat check to drop in their laps.

Still, with the deadline for signatures just days away, Democrats are probably crapping themselves trying to figure out a replacement. Not to worry, as there are plenty of people who are more that happy to spend other people's money on failed programs that will only serve to drive the citizenry to serfdom.

Maybe it was a finger in the eye of the Democratic leadership that has thrown fiscal responsibility out the window in an effort to nationalize our economy and enslave the next dozen generations with debt that they can't possibly pay off. I doubt it, but I'm not quite so jaded as to say that piece of me has died. I know, I'm an optimist for thinking that there might be a politician who hasn't sold every piece of his soul.

Come November, expect several more incumbents to be shown the door by their constituents. At least Bayh had the good sense to leave before Indiana's voters did to him what he's been doing to us.

IT People Piss Me Off

So, my wife is trying to set up our computer so that she can work from home. With all the snow we've been getting, it's probably not a bad idea. Growing up in the frozen Northlands, I don't seem to have too much of a problem driving in the snow, but Hoosiers . . . they're a bit different.

Anyways, she was having some trouble accessing her work computer from our home computer. Not too weird, since most networks don't want to let just any computer log-on and hack into someone's files. Still, she needed to get onto her drives, and so called the (company name deleted) IT support folks.

She kept trying to log on, without success. After describing the issues she was seeing, they told her it sounded like she had a virus. And when the computer rebooted, there were pop-ups, which obviously shouldn't be there . . . . "Yep, sounds like you have a virus. You'll want to remove 'Superantispyware.' It's keeping you from being able to access your H drive."

Now, I don't fault my wife for not having computer skills. But the 'pop-up' that she saw was the splash screen telling the user that Superantispyware was firing up. That's all. It gets replaced by an announcement that there's an update for the program. Wow. No doubt that's a virus.


When I rule the world, one of the laws I will implement is that tech support people must actually know what in the hell they are doing. And if you need to read from a script, you are not only fired, you're wrapped in chains and dropped in the deepest part of the ocean, so that as you sink to 36000 feet below the surface, all that pressure might force the two brain cells together and your last thought will be "Damn, I really shouldn't stuck to that job flipping burgers."

UPDATE 16FEB2010: Yeah, it was my firewall. I have the thing cranked down so tight that nothing is getting in or out without alarms going off. Unfortunately, that means that stuff has trouble, and the firewall says "nope, not gonna happen." Now I just gotta fiddle with the controls to say "Mrs. Workshop's work server is okay, Strange Russian Guy's server is bad." I so wanna call up Mrs. Workshop's tech support people and yell at them. Tell me my computer has a virus. I'll show you a virus . . . .

13 February 2010

On The Other Hand, I'm Glad To See The Killer Back.

For those who don't know, Jerry Lee Lewis was THE original Bad Boy of Rock and Roll. He once was billed below Chuck Berry, and got kinda pissed about it; at the end of his set he lit his piano on fire so he couldn't be followed. Oh, and he married the 13 year old daughter of his cousin.

No Good Will Come Of This . . . .

07 February 2010

The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves

I think this will be my new example as to why the socialism, that great system of government that shares misery equally, will never work.

The dishes won't wash themselves.

Special thanks goes to my friend Jacquie for the inspiration.

As the head of my house, I could command my wife (who is, by all accounts, my equal in all things marital), to wash the dishes, but I'd be punished for it. And besides, as equals we are far too busy planning our economy to do something as simple as cleaning dishes.

I could order my child (Little Workshop) to do the dishes, but he could very easily drop them. Especially since he's only four months old. Let's say Little Workshop (LW) is old enough to put dishes away. We'll make LW 18 for simplicity.

Ordering LW to do the dishes could likely result in him breaking dishes, or doing a half-assed job on cleaning them. And why not? If I were to punish LW for doing a half-assed job, he could simply take his dish-washing skills and leave.

Perhaps I should pay LW to do the dishes! But, that borders dangerously close to capitalism, so we'll add some caveats. LW will get paid to do the dishes, but I'll put a limit on the amount of money he is allowed to make from washing the dishes. Plus, he must do the dishes in precisely the right way, or he'll suffer the consequences and won't get paid. Oh, wait, this means that LW takes his skills and leaves . . . .

Okay, fine! Leave! I'll hire Eduardo to do the dishes. Of course, Eduardo doesn't have any actual skill doing the dishes, so he doesn't use hot water. Or soap. And he puts them away all wrong. But everyone with LW's skill won't come to my house, so I guess I'll have to live with half-clean dishes that may or may not be in the cupboard.

Now, extrapolate the dishwashing scenario to something important. Like, say, surgery. Do you really want a doctor operating on you who is operating on you because the government tells him "Do this or you'll be arrested?" Or do you want a doctor who isn't skilled, because the skilled doctors left to pursue other avenues of employment?

Which is worse: Using an unskilled doctor, or forcing one to perform under the threat of punishment?