16 February 2010

My Carbon Footprint is Bigger Than Yours! And That's Okay.

Why? Because I got me some offsets! HA! Suck it, greenies!

Free carbon credits! Impress your tree-hugging friends! Drive your Hummer H2 guilt-free! Keep your house at a toasty 76 degrees this winter, comfortable in the knowledge that you can simply "offset" your disgusting carbon production by a few meaningless goodwill gestures, like flying a private jet to a UN-sponsored symposium on global warming, or preaching to the little people who don't live in 10,000 square foot homes that we need to save the earth (don't worry, Obama likes his White House nice and toasty while us little people are told to put on a sweater), or driving a car to Washington DC when you could've video-conferenced and told Congress to stick it where the sun don't shine.


jared said...

You would have our President fly coach? Cause, you know, that's safe. Would you like a representative of the United States of America living in an apartment where he can greet ambassadors in the cold?

You'd still be a dick, if you drove a Hummer.

Doug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug said...

Now, jared, you've done got me all riled up. You know what? The next time I get the oil in my truck changed, I'm gonna save the used oil and burn it. Not recycle. Not reuse. I'm gonna light it on fire and send all those noxious chemicals into the atmosphere.

Next time, make sure your comments make sense.